Here in the dark. Waiting for time to drag me into the light. You whom I’ve been waiting for has become a variable, not a constant. I’m beginning to enjoy life on what it brings… Different days, different terms, different years… People. Me.
Nope! It’s just a cheat title but yeah has some significance to what I want to say. Just that I’ve been feeling down and not very optimistic over the past hours and so I was just trying to do what I have to do, encoding equations for my Math modules, browsing this and that in hope of bitsy bits. I was mindlessly reading my emails from top to bottom, middle to top, then down again and over and over, when I came across this blog article, Be Kind, Be Inspired, by a favorite local writer. The last part goes…
“Maybe if I knew music, I’d create. Or if I knew art, I’d Cezanne myself my own “Boy in the Red Vest”. But no. So I must write. I must revive the appetite for searching things which are beautiful and be compelled to imprint them in words. To remind myself that humanity is interesting and thus I ought to be kinder. And that every sunset is different from the one yesterday and that I ought to be inspired.”
It rekindled the small fire I always have within me which is every so often almost extinguished by my own windiness.
I need to remind myself over and over that I have already trudged the path I was so willing to take that looking back is not an option just yet. I have to get the answer for my quest of the unknown and that I have to go there, to the destination I so wanted to arrive at. Thus, I ought to be inspired to keep going whatever the odds may be.
And yes, I’m asking the self to forgive that other for always being the skeptic and cynic about almost everything.
So long for the end of this journey (if one gets what I mean, whatever that is).
P.S. That favorite local writer is also an aspiring baker. You may check her site at this address: http://www.yzagada.com.
I have not actually read the works of this profound and prolific writer. And I am not here to write a book review either. I just feel inspired by this “buddy.” Something about his biography hooked me up to his being. What I know I did to know him was move my eyes from top to bottom of every page of the book I borrowed from the library. I even forgot how the editor described him. I can only imagine it. My whole being revived just indulging from an old book.
I am not a philosopher either. Not even a writer or a poet or anything near him. I’m just here in awe of his writings and all the things he believes in. And how he withstood all the ridicule thrown at his back and everything he experienced back in his lifetime. He suffered I know. And others would have done better. But who knows who ridiculed who? Even now that he was gone he knew better…
One cannot understand another far too quickly as that would be like marrying someone you just met but I could say I have done so otherwise and if this is a bold statement then I will reserve a piece of my time in the future to come review this when I will say otherwise of what I was standing here for right now.
As I struggled to switch between the book and the dictionary, I knew I read a good stuff in my lifetime.
Why I am writing this and how I got the courage to do so, I do not know. His name just popped out in my head and I was prompted to write something. Just something for him. In return for reviving my dead appetite. May your soul rest in peace, my friend from the other side of the world…
P.S. I came to know the name, Soren Kierkegaard, as I was searching for good books regarding ethics. I wish to give my thanks to Sir Leomel Pasquin for recommending such good reads to me.
I was havin’ a real hard time synthesizing all the things happening to me these days when suddenly these students appear!
They were my students in Basic Calculus back in 2018 and I remember having long, honest, animated conversations, discussion with them. They, and few more from their section, were a set of scholarly and bright and intelligent, also passionate and diligent students. They would always impart their learnings and insights and unbeknownst them had a very great impact on me. They would not even hesitate to give encouragement to my dreams and suggestions to my problems (ako na teacher, ako pa ininspire). Of course, “Math” and “Science” would always be the main inspiration of the long talks. Or maybe, madaldal sila, madaldal dn ako, o palibhasa, ganun lng talaga chemistry ko sa kanila or nila sa kanilang teachers or sa kanilang nakakasalamuha. For that here’s for the two of them: “I could only wish for your continued interest in your passion. May your fire continue to blaze amidst the struggles that life is throwing you. May you be able to overcome all the difficulties of the path that you have chosen so you may find the entrance that you are looking for. Continue dreaming! And never stop believing! Because I know that you have so much more to give out to this human race and to this beautiful world that we live in.” See you when I see you!!!