Come, rain
and carry me away
Away from this mess
that I have created.
Bring me to the water
where ocean meets the sky…
And I will swim forever
and there’ll be no goodbye.
Come, rain
and carry me away
Away from this mess
that I have created.
Bring me to the water
where ocean meets the sky…
And I will swim forever
and there’ll be no goodbye.
Dear me of the future,
Hi! I’ve been wanting to write this stuff to you to find out how you are these days. Maybe you are now in year 2030 or 2040? Are you still alive? I mean, are you still living? Or could you be…?
I’m not sure what you’re thinking but maybe you’re not in the mood to be reading something like this. But maybe you also want to peek at what you’ve been thinking in your early 30’s.
Let me fill you in with the following.
So now that I told you these, maybe you could answer the following questions for me…
Reply, self of the future!
You keep blaming others why you seem to have no say over your life. At one time you waited ’til they’re gone before indulging on your favorite drama. You’ve been wanting to fix your room but you worry that others might not like it. You pick your dish but hesitate because of your ‘poor’ taste. They might get angry when you speak because you have no ‘credibility’ or whatever.
Girl! You’re not living your life! Who cares about your flaws? The simple answer is that no one cares about them. Or maybe, no one, until you let them see. All you have to do is try and change your approach on how to assert yourself.
Of course , you also need to consider other people but you need to make sure that such considerations are healthy for you and everyone else. But if you feel like your desires or wishes are being suppressed then it may be an indication that there is something wrong. And believe it or not, it is mostly you who/which is the problem.
Don’t get me wrong. This is not to say that other people are not factors for your messed up life. I am just trying to point out that you could also do some experiment, take the sunnier side, support your wishes, and stand up for what you believe.
It’s you and no one but you can decide who will rule your life.
Choose–you? or they?
Still, we have to choose Him.
I was too complacent and I got ahead of myself saying that living simply is more than enough for me.
That is, if only I lived like that from the beginning to start with. I know I didn’t. I went back and forth. I exceeded what I can’t pay, in kind or in cash. I went over the minimum. I did what I couldn’t do. I promised things I couldn’t fulfill. I gave my heart but I took it back then gave my acting to someone else.
But I got tired and started yearning for simplicity…
I believe that living simply in its purest sense won’t complicate things ever. But I had this distorted notion of what I’d been doing and I deviated away from the real meaning of simple living.
I will forgive myself this once knowing I messed up real big. It’s okay. I will try my best. Really do my best to sort things out. Moving forward with renewed zeal and vigor.
I will dedicate my life to take that simple living again.
Dear Self,
Let me be tired today. Let me feel the pain of this body. Let me feel exhausted from the demands of life. Let me be angry and ugly.
Let me shout. Let me sing. Let me pray. Let me indulge with the food I like.
Let me feel good even if my house’s a mess. Let me feel beautiful even if I’m fat. Let me fulfill the promises I made.
Let me feel guilty and guiltless.
LET ME LIVE.
Looking at the world through the lens of a woman must be something. Women aren’t always moody, she’s on her off day for putting up with your shit. You see, for a woman, love is the whole history of her life. In a man, it is but an episode. Don’t try to understand women. Women understand women and that’s why they hate each other. And say what you want about women but I think being able to turn one sentence into a six-hour argument takes talent.
Of course, women don’t work as hard as men. They get it right the first time. It’s a thing of the mind. A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s and that’s only because she changes it more often. I think they also feed the ego of men when they pretend to not be able to open a jar. Because when you’re ‘play…
View original post 548 more words
It occured to me, or rather, I realized how I am not taking control over my life.
I wake up each day, worrying about how others would react if I mess up.
I tend to always revert back to being a people-pleaser instead of realizing my goals, be it short term or long term.
I complain that I could not fix my house the way I wanted to. I fuss over things but only up to that since I don’t act on what I believe I should do.
I read a lot of materials but I can’t seem to decide on what to believe, on what to hold on to, on what to follow or obtain as my guide.
I go back and forth, never seeming to stand still even for a short while.
The iron is not my hand and the cup is not of what I prefer.
I let others decide…for me.
I always postpone the day that I have full control of the things I need to have control over.
If not today, then when?
P.S. 1: This post is a little different from how it should have been written. I regret not typing this morning when a smooth flow of thoughts showered my mind. Still, nice try for this day.
P.S. 2: Much as I would like to have perfect grammar and flow, I just won’t be able to come to that since I have my terms and conditions for this blog series.
P.S. 3: Even though I told myself to try not to explain the behind chu chu, I still can’t avoid it. Hehe. We will come to that, yes!
P.S. 4: I feel glad I showed up today.
And you, how are you today?
Let me blog a little earlier than usual although as usual, my working space is messy. Nevertheless, I tried experimenting on a better position for my desk. I moved it from our living room to the unused room of the house and at least it gave a little mood boost for writing. Also, the new room is just right for me since I prefer not to be bothered when I write.
Some changes I made to how I do things are waking up in the morning just at the right time (or I mean the normal waking time), sweep the floor, boil water for morning beverage with my little ones, tidy up the mess I could, and look for combinations we could have for breakfast just to have something to energize us for the day.
I’m meaning to pick up from last time I feel like, “Wow! I could write!” And writing even just a few paragraphs each day would be helpful.
Here goes my words for the day:
“Go wander into the wonders of what you can do! Believe and you shall see!”
‘I sit at my desk while my eyes wander into the…
UNWASHED PLATES.’
Hehehe.
Gotta wash them before I sleep.
This kind of incident happen too many times into infinity when you thought you are done for the day but even after all the very hearty dinner, you have that responsibility to fulfill afterwards.
But, yes! It’s part of the recipe.
I don’t wish to write for the sake of writing but this I must do. The reason why I must? I don’t know. Maybe to take advantage of my assumed break from work.
It’s just liberating and I feel excited whenever I think of blogging.
This month my little girl is turning 1 year and 2 months. Maybe I would wait 2 more years before I can finally have a whole hour straight on my blog. More years and I will insert writing short stories in my sched. I’ve already started doing it in my mind.
I will capitalize on this newfound passion.
How about you? How are you during these days?
I miss the times
when I could kiss the fog,
and the corners of my mind
would wonder beyond.
In the days when,
I felt the rain,
and all the corners of the world
would dither in a mess.
I miss the times
When the wind caressed my solitude,
and the corners of my heart
would flutter at the shades of its warmth.
I miss the times
when words were but sounds,
played carefully, on the tips of tongues
and spoken with truth and thought.
I’m just but a poor writer
No fancy words to use
No long stories to tell
No rhyming to boast of.
Just with me is a passion and an ever ending desire to produce.
Yet I slack of, and don’t study most of the time.
And so I will still be the poor writer, no matter how much passion or desire I have with me, till I find courage to change and accept the reality that must be faced if I wanted to become better.
I refuse to take advantage of the help I receive from others. I take some but lose most of what I get. I lack plan, I mess up. Just always lamenting. Never working my ass harder.
In remaining a poor writer, I witness wars here and there. At the bottom or at the pit of my stomach, at the top or the highest point on my head, at my feet, and my periphery.
But those wars will never end I know. Because they will continue to argue like those blind men from Indostan.
So, yes! I am the poor writer.
And I will always tell it so like this.
Still I know that I might, at some point, not be the poor writer, which I use to tell myself.
Global warming. If you’re still trying to have a child at this point, you’re rooting for human extinction. We’re in a pandemic, don’t create another pandemic. If you hate doing laundry, that’s a clear sign you shouldn’t be considering it. Why would laundry exceed more than one load per week? Look in the mirror. Do […]
Why You Shouldn’t Have Kids
Where do I stand?
Where am I standing?
Are my feet steadfast on the ground? Or are they just moving here and there? Keep changing sides, looking for grounds, testing…